Not fade away
by StrangePhenomenon
Summary: For hurt/comfort bingo, mental de-age. Brittany/Santana, other minor pairings. WARNING: Angst like you wouldn't believe.


_1994_

A woman in a hospital cradles her baby, plump and calm, with little tufts if blond hair sticking up from its scalp. Her husband sits on the bed beside her, his eyes full of love.

"What do you want to name her?" His voice breaks the silence.

The woman never moves her eyes from the sleeping infant. "Brittany."

_1999_

"Have a good first day, honey!"

"I will," the five-year-old chirps. "I'm gonna better than _everyone _else."

Her mother smiles. "I'm sure you will be." And she doesn't doubt it for a minute.

_2002_

"…and there's this girl, Santana, that acts kind of mean but I think she's actually nice." Her father opens his mouth, about to say something, but Brittany rambles enthusiastically on.

"Not like stupid Susie Pepper. She hates me, 'cause she thinks she's so smart, but she still can't beat me. And there's this other girl named Quinn who's really pretty, and she told me she likes this boy named Finn. He's alright but I think it's kind of silly that their names rhyme. But she said that Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel like him too, only Rachel's kind of annoying and Kurt's mom died last year so he's really sad all the time and doesn't talk much, and I think this boy Noah likes him anyway. And…"

Brittany continues to joyfully rattle off the names and biographies of all twenty-seven of her classmates. Her father watches her, his face amused.

_2005_

"Brittany!" Her father's voice is grim. "I believe you have some explaining to do, young lady."

Brittany bounces into the living room. "What?"

"I think you know perfectly well what. Sit down." Hesitantly, she sits on a chair across from him.

"Dad, I didn't think it would be a problem! I mean, I know you said no boyfriends for at least a couple years, but I didn't think you'd mind if it was _Santana_, and I only kissed her once…"

"No, I…wait, what?"

Brittany continues, disregarding his interruption. "And Noah kissed Kurt! And neither of _them_ got in trouble! _And_ I asked Noah if he thought it was okay if I kissed Santana and he said that the Puckasaurus did what he wanted and I should too. _So._"She folds her arms and stares defiantly at her father with the air of someone who knows they've just out-logic-ed their opponent. He is dumbstruck for a minute, before shaking his head.

"…look, Britt, you can kiss Santana if you want. I know she's a nice girl. This is about your math test."

"What about it?" The girl's face is confused.

"Brittany, you _failed_ it! You got a 57! That is a _big deal_!" He calms down slightly. "Britt, you've never gotten a grade below a ninety. What's going on?"

Brittany straightens suddenly. "I didn't fail it, I know it. I did really good!"

Her father notices but discounts the grammatical error, even though his mind is whispering _you know she never messes up grammar, English is he best subject for God's sake. _

_Never mind that_, he tells himself. He digs out the failed test and brandishes it at Brittany.

When she speaks, her voice is soft. "I don't remember this test…nothing on it looks familiar. Are you sure it's mine?"

"You have to take responsibility for your actions, Brittany. You _failed_ this goddamn test-" Brittany flinches"-and I will be _damned_ if I see you continue to do this poorly. Don't you dare try to pass off your lack of effort like this."

He leaves her sitting on the chair, stunned, her face tear-streaked.

_2007_

Now Brittany's parents are happy if she's still passing; she dropped out of advanced classes last year. Now instead of devouring thick books all day, or scribbling furiously in a notebook, or solving equations with her fingers flying and her eyes shining, she sits in her room and plays with her stuffed animals. She's like a child more than anything, but not the brilliant, intelligent, vibrant child she once was. Brittany's quiet now, not intelligent at all, and she wouldn't know what to do with a book if you gave her one. She becomes a cheerleader, and in that, Santana can see the old Brittany, determined to be the best at everything. Her parents don't watch her cheer.

Her parents have stopped caring, that's all. They busy themselves with their other children. Santana is the only one who frets and worries and cries, simply because she loves Brittany so much. If they can't find her, she's at Santana's; the two are joined at the hip.

_2010_

Brittany, Santana, and Quinn join Glee club. In song and movement, Brittany is more like her old self. It only makes Santana sadder, though, when the old Brittany is gone.

And it hurts so, so bad, when Brittany say a ballad is a male duck, and everyone laughs because they've forgotten how she used to be. Except Santana, and maybe Kurt, who knows enough about loss to get it. Sometimes Santana sees Kurt watching her watching Brittany, and his sad eyes meets her, and she can see that he understands, he _understands_. The intensity of his gaze makes her want to cry, so she looks away. She doesn't think she wants to understand.

Santana goes to Brittany's house sometimes, and looks through her old school things. She looks at the old tests, saved to look back on, back when her parents thought she would have a future where she cared about grades. The grades are high. 97. 96. 100. 98. She reads her old notebooks, full of poetry and stories and _ideas_, and she cries into Brittany's pillow.

_2020_

"Brittany…Britt, wake up."

Brittany sits up, half open. "Yeah, 'tana?" Her voice is sleepy, and the pet name makes Santana melt a little every time Brittany says it.

"It's time for breakfast."

"Oh! Yay!" Brittany clambers out of bed and bounces along to the kitchen. After high school and college(for Santana), the two moved in together, to the surprise of no one. Brittany was a little better – happier, anyway, and more lively. She was, in fact, much like she had been at five years old.

It's still hard, but not as much, because Santana has her Brittany and she will never get tired of taking care of her. She knows she will stay with Brittany forever.

As she serves Brittany breakfast, the blond smiles at her. "I love you, 'tana."

"Love you too, Britt."

The Glee people (Gleeks, Brittany calls them. Santana's not sure why.) are intertwined with their life too, unexpectedly so. They all live in the same area, and they get together every Friday night. It's actually really nice. They make fun of Puck (Brittany still calls him Noah) and Kurt as they stare into each other's eyes, and Matt and Mike chase Tina and Artie's kids around. Mercedes and Finn bring their kids too, and Rachel and Quinn make bedroom eyes at each other while Puck pretends to gag. Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury are there too (Santana still thinks of her like that although she supposes it's Mrs. Schuester now.), laughing and joking about how old they are to be hanging out with a bunch of kids. Santana's pretty sure she spotted Terri outside a couple times, but she's not going to mention that.

And when Brittany wakes up crying in the night about monsters in the closet, Santana is there, and when she gets lost, Santana always finds her. And it's alright.


End file.
